Advances in neuroscience and the work of Dr. Daniel J. Siegel has shown that who we think we are is a function of our experiences in relationships, our internal conclusions, interpretations and assumptions about those interactions, and the resulting neural net profile (neural architecture) that develops in the brain.
However, our biology is not who we are. We are not our biology, we are not our thoughts, we are not our feelings, we are not our relationships, and we are not our values/belief system. We can transcend all of those things if we find something bigger to identify with. One approach is to shift the question from, “Who am I?” which can trap us into confusing who we are with what we have (our body, our shadow, our things, our relationships, our status, our value systems, etc.) to the question, “Who am I being?”
Who am I being as I do what I do? What qualities of being would I prefer to express? What qualities of being will lead me toward a more fulfilling life? If we begin to identify ourselves as here to express certain qualities of being, we set up a new feedback loop that can transform the old ideas put in place during our childhood when our developing brain and sense of self were beyond our control.
By stepping into conscious co-creation, we can shift away from the brain’s fight/flight/freeze mechanism (sometimes called the brain’s alarm system) and it focus on surviving and replace it with a focus on qualities of being that foster thriving. The intention of expressing positive ways of being offers a counter point to the alarm system’s bias toward negativity and danger. Consciousness, or the conscious choice to be a certain way, provides the energy and courage to develop a new lens through which to view life.
If “I am who I have come here to be,” we begin to hold ourselves accountable for how we are being regardless of life’s circumstances. The more we practice this, the more we train ourselves to behave in alignment with the qualities we choose to express. This training program actually re-wires the brain’s neural net profile making new firing patterns possible.
As we experience challenges in life that trigger us and the alarm system begins firing, we learn to resist the urge to act on impulse. We practice breathing and calming the body. We create space for the neo-cortex and its higher-level thinking to come on line. And our choices can be made consciously rather than in a haze of old habits and emotions that were set in place by moments of unmet childhood needs going back before conscious memory.
There is huge freedom found for all who undertake this brain re-training. The Q Process™ is one method you can use to consciously craft your brain and support the emergence of a more peaceful and harmonious sense of self and set of behaviors. So “Who am I being today?”